Chapter 113. The Human Heart
Was it Shine’s petty scheme? Fortunately, the senior headmaster did not draw his sword.
From what I could tell, the biggest reason was that he simply didn’t have one.
“…Sorry.”
Unexpectedly, the senior headmaster bowed his head without resistance.
Huh? He actually bowed his head. It wasn’t the kind of deep bow that a criminal guilty of treason would make, but it was a polite apology.
“Well, uh. I mean…”
I was rather flustered. Because, this was something I always knew would happen sooner or later. From the start, the reason the senior headmaster had tolerated my existence was because he was a madman whose mind was far removed from normal.
And my feats in the Great Forest were enough to appear abnormal even by a madman’s standards.
As I stood awkwardly, the senior headmaster carefully explained the reasons for his suspicion.
“I’m not trying to make excuses. It’s just… I was reminded of the past. That’s all there was to it.”
To put it simply, it was this.
The old war between the Empire and the Kingdoms. The surface battles alone had been horrendous, but the covert operations beneath them had been even more brutal.
If we sent one spy, they sent two. If we sent four, they sent eight. Our squad’s ace turning out to be an enemy spy? That kind of thing was commonplace.
“…”
I listened quietly and came to understand the senior headmaster’s heart to some extent.
Here, ‘understand’ didn’t mean I understood his reasoning for action. I literally meant his heart.
War trauma. It was a condition often seen in retired soldiers, continuing to suffer from the shock of horrific events long after they ended.
The senior headmaster, whom I thought unshakable, carried the scars of the old war deeply engraved in his heart.
This was the same for me as well. Out of habit, I erased my presence, shrank my existence, and whenever I encountered someone new, the first thing I assessed wasn’t what kind of person they were but whether I could kill them.
Even my heart, light as paper, still bore the thick stains of my Troubleshooter days. Either way, at least in this moment, I faced the senior headmaster with genuine sincerity.
“Senior.”
“Speak.”
“I fully sympathize with your feelings. Of course, it must be impossible for you to understand. Born a vagabond from the gray zones. The only thing of note being my connection with the Belando Family family.”
“…”
“Can that background explain my attainment? I’d sooner listen to a dog barking. That’s how absurd it would sound. …But.”
The breeze drifted into the hideout.
With hollow eyes fixed on him, I continued with a clear voice.
“Even so, I have no answer to give you.”
“…”
“Hard as it may be to believe, I’ve spoken only the truth. No lies. And yet if I still fail to earn your trust, then what words could add anything here? It’s just… this is who I am.”
Yes, that’s just me.
Of course, if I wanted to explain my existence, I could. My attainment could be explained through regression, and regression itself could be accounted for by revealing the existence of the Fire Mark. But this… though not necessarily a secret I must take to the grave, was also not something I could reveal lightly.
I was, in the truest sense, a being who had fallen from the sky. And really, this wasn’t just the senior headmaster’s problem.
Belando Family, Obern, Senior Riheim, not to mention Chenbi, and even perhaps Demian. Anyone in the senior’s position would have doubted the rootless nature of my being.
It was a relationship fragile enough to shatter at any time. This solitude was essentially a lifelong burden for my present self. Not that it was especially difficult. I was prepared to endure it.
Only…
“I don’t wish to fabricate lies to buy trust. So… can’t you just believe me as I am?”
That was my small desire.
I didn’t expect much. Because if it were me, I couldn’t do it either.
To believe in a person as they are, it sounds easy, but it’s anything but.
Looking back, even when I trusted Demian, Chenbi, Shine, or the senior headmaster, it wasn’t really the people I trusted. It was the circumstances, the backgrounds, the interests.
When my words ended, silence settled over the hideout. Even Breakfast No. 1, sensing the mood, only blinked his eyes as he looked between me and the senior.
Petty Shine still glared daggers at the headmaster, while the senior stared back at me with deep, hollow eyes.
It was Shine who spoke first.
“I believe.”
Her voice was steady, without a hint of wavering.
“You are a vile piece of trash, yet I believe.”
You follow me all the way here and call that belief? …The words rose to my throat but I swallowed them back down.
And yet, what should I call it?
“…”
My heart eased.
And when the senior headmaster finally opened his mouth…
“I too… shall believe.”
I found myself able to lay down a burden I hadn’t even realized I was carrying.
Thud!
It wasn’t a bad night.
Even though the sun was high in the sky.
* * *
Maybe because of that exorcism of sorts, the conversation with the senior headmaster flowed smoothly afterward.
“Mm, hem hem.”
“Mm, hem hem.”
As one ages, it truly becomes awkward to show one’s inner thoughts. Awkward throat-clearing filled the gaps in the dialogue.
“But, this one is…”
“I am Shine von Le… mmph!”
“The one I mentioned earlier—the picked-up one, not the fished-up one.”
“Shine von Leman, vampire, and so on…?”
I bit down curses at the suspicious look in the senior’s eyes. This foul-tempered bastard, as if stalking me weren’t enough, had blurted out her whole identity in no time.
In the very heart of the Empire. In Zenion Academy, a royal institution, no less!
And not just that.
‘Vampire, my ass…’
That was even worse than her real name.
The word vampire, in fairy tales, myths, or whatever, was known in the popular imagination as a legendary race of demons. Or traitors to humanity on par with that.
And yet, because of her past crimes?
“…Well, she must be a friend with a few screws loose.”
“Yes, well. Exactly.”
No. Those eyes were not the eyes of someone looking at a ‘friend with a few screws loose.’
Scarlet eyes. Sharp fangs. Skin pale as a corpse. Anyone could see she was a vampire. And popping out of the shadows to top it off? Then announcing with her own mouth that she was a vampire, even a lord?
This was undeniable. And yet, for some reason, the senior did not press further.
Only said…
“They say a biting dog’s fault lies with its master.”
“My dog won’t bite. Not that I’ve ever raised one.”
“Everyone says that, but… Very well, I’ll believe you.”
The only one unable to follow the conversation was Shine.
‘Dog? What nonsense is this?’ she muttered with crazy eyes as she looked between us. I almost smacked her.
We exchanged this and that afterward.
Ah, for the record, my attainment never came up. And it probably wouldn’t, not unless it absolutely had to. What worried me more was Senior Riheim. He was one of the few who knew my attainment clearly…
‘Well, it’ll be fine.’
He wasn’t the sort to run his mouth. From his perspective, he would think the headmaster knew me better than he did, and so he wouldn’t see a reason to mention it.
When the Archduchess came up, the flow of conversation briefly snagged.
“By the way, the third daughter should be arriving next week. Do you want to see her?”
“Are you crazy? She’s not just crazy, she’s crazy beyond crazy.”
“…Hmm.”
What was that look?
As if saying, ‘That’s not something you should be saying.’ An awkward silence fell again.
The senior gazed at me for a moment, then apologized on behalf of the Archduchess for her rudeness when we first met.
At that point, I couldn’t help but ask.
“So what is this ‘Token of the Waning Moon’ anyway?”
“You never heard?”
“Well, I’ve heard a bit. Roughly like a uniform of the ‘Eaten Moon,’ right?”
“That too. You could call it a sort of memento.”
The senior looked down at the token on the table with nostalgic eyes, as if remembering that time.
Then..
“The third daughter wants the token because of a promise we, the old comrades, made concerning it.”
“A promise?”
“Yes. You could call it a wish right. We promised to grant one wish to the successor of the token.”
“…Ah.”
Hearing it put that way, I could see why the Archduchess had been so greedy for it.
‘Couldn’t she use this to reunite the Eaten Moon?’
Surely, her desperate wish was the downfall of the magical noble families.
No wonder she longed for it.
Even after several generations, just look at the senior headmaster now, still vigorous enough to rival most active elites. Perhaps noticing my thoughts, the senior smiled playfully.
“What, are you tempted?”
“No.”
This time, it was the truth.
“Really? I thought you’d be the sort to lose your mind over it.”
“Not particularly.”
The Eaten Moon, whatever. I wasn’t interested. Unless I could go around collecting books from each member one by one. But even that wouldn’t be easy.
“Good. That’s wise. And mind you, calling it a ‘wish right’ makes it sound absolute, but it’s not. They’ll act however they please anyway. With so many comrades, how could we fulfill every heir’s wish? More likely, we’d just try to kill them.”
“Yes, well. Birds of a feather, as they say.”
“…?”
I caught a flicker of killing intent in his eyes. He was dead serious.
That was when I realized, the Eaten Moon’s members were just as insane as the senior headmaster.
Then a thought suddenly struck me.
“By the way, why were you planning to call Senior Riheim?”
“To set up some wards. With things like Salvito and such, his help is essential. You saw it yourself, didn’t you?”
Fair enough.
I nodded in agreement.
If he could improvise a ward that only culled ancient wraiths, then yes, Salvito wouldn’t stand a chance.
“He’s supposed to come during the vacation. Do you want to see him?”
“No, not particularly.”
Again, I shook my head.
With someone like Senior Riheim, he’d recognize me instantly even without knowing my face. ‘Ah, so that’s the one.’ And then, the same pattern with the headmaster could repeat itself.
Anyway, I wrapped up the talk by asking for a couple of favors.
“By the way, could you get me an ID?”
“An ID?”
“Yes, this girl needs one.”
I gestured at Shine. She seemed like she could manage hiding out, but realistically she’d need some identity to move around.
“And, could you also find her a job?”
“A job?”
“Yes, another parasite tagged along. She used to be a Pathfinder. Something like an academy guard position should do.”
“Alright. I’ll see to both.”
Today the headmaster was quite docile. Well, he had a guilty conscience, so he had to keep his mania in check.
Just as we were about to finish and stand—
“Junior.”
“Yes, senior.”
“Sorry.”
At that serious voice, I chuckled.
“…Isn’t it all over now?”
“…Yes.”
No more words were needed between us.
But still.
“Senior, but are you really sorry?”
“…?”
“No, I mean, are you just saying it, or do you truly mean it? You know how the human heart is, if you don’t say it, no one knows, and if you don’t show it, no one feels it.”
A little token of sincerity.
What was needed now wasn’t some material reward, but something that could connect heart to heart.
That was what I thought.
